Wednesday, December 29, 2010

still here

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth, dropped dead, been abducted by aliens, institutionalized or put in jail. I have simply been attempting to hibernate and avoid the world. As you know I struggle with depression and, like many, find this time of year especially difficult. I keep trying though.

Many thanks to all my wonderful friends who commented on and emailed me about my last, long ago post. Your kind words and knowing someone, somewhere cares means alot to me. I often need to remind myself that I am not alone. Thank you for the reminder.

As the year draws to a close my initial thoughts go toward all that I did not accomplish this year, all the ways I have failed and all the regrets I have. I know this type of negative thinking can only drag me down so I am trying very hard to think more positive thoughts and be kinder to myself so...in 2010 I painted a canvas for the first time,discovered I could make friends and began to consider the possibility that I really am not as awful,gross,disgusting,stupid (insert whatever negative)as I think I am.

I look toward 2011 with hope (something I had just about run out of). I guess that's a good start. I hope you will stick with me. Please know that even if you don't hear from me you are always in my thoughts and close to my heart.