Wednesday, December 29, 2010

still here

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth, dropped dead, been abducted by aliens, institutionalized or put in jail. I have simply been attempting to hibernate and avoid the world. As you know I struggle with depression and, like many, find this time of year especially difficult. I keep trying though.

Many thanks to all my wonderful friends who commented on and emailed me about my last, long ago post. Your kind words and knowing someone, somewhere cares means alot to me. I often need to remind myself that I am not alone. Thank you for the reminder.

As the year draws to a close my initial thoughts go toward all that I did not accomplish this year, all the ways I have failed and all the regrets I have. I know this type of negative thinking can only drag me down so I am trying very hard to think more positive thoughts and be kinder to myself so...in 2010 I painted a canvas for the first time,discovered I could make friends and began to consider the possibility that I really am not as awful,gross,disgusting,stupid (insert whatever negative)as I think I am.

I look toward 2011 with hope (something I had just about run out of). I guess that's a good start. I hope you will stick with me. Please know that even if you don't hear from me you are always in my thoughts and close to my heart.

7 comments:

  1. I believe that inside of everyone lies pain, sorrow, beauty, imperfection, and perfectness. I believe that each and every one of us has disabilities. Shyness and depression are two strenuous ones indeed. I also believe in the power of love, friendship and forgiveness. I am strengthened by HOPE. I am thankful that you have used that word, too. Peace to you. I HOPE that you will be as kind to yourself as you are to a good friend. (P.S.Isn't art healing and therapeutic?!)

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  2. Sharyn! So nice to hear from you again! And I saw that canvas you painted - AMAZING and had the Squammies buzzing about it - and I got to be one of your new friends - you're awesome and full of great information and stories! You also have a very smart sense of humor and I love how it comes out in your writing.

    Here's to a kinder, gentler and powerful new year for all of us!

    Huge hugs,
    Lily

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  3. So, so, so delighted to see a post from you in my reader this morning!! If only you could see yourself through my eyes, my dear - you are an amazing, radiant being:) Sending you much love for 2011!

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  4. Oh, dear Sharyn! What a delight to find your comment over on my blog ...

    Never underestimate the light that you shine forth! Yes, it is easy to focus upon all that we didn't get around to and I am glad you shifted focus to consider all that you did for yourself in 2010. My little flower monsters are living a full life thanks to your inspiration (and theo's) and I know your journals hold so much beauty and inspiration.

    Much love to you and I look forward to reading and seeing more of you and your art in the coming year.

    xo lis

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  5. Happy New Year, sweetie! May 2011 burn bright and strong for you!

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  6. Good to hear from you Sharyn, this time of year can be so tough on people, I am glad you took the time to post and let us know how you are doing.. much love and hugs and may 2011 hold all you wish for

    xo
    Karen

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