quietly becoming

As branches in the winter work quietly to produce buds and finally blooms, I have been doing alot of quiet, internal work. Slowly unfolding, turning toward the light...becoming. Coming into my own.

( but there are times I just want to put on steel toed boots and kick the shit out of something!)

I also know...

I am not alone. I have you.

This I know...

I am still here.

seeking

I'm still looking for my place in the world.

Thanks Gaga

I'm beautiful in my way
'cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way

tiny victories

I tend to get very overwhelmed quite easily. When I get overwhelmed I stop. Just stop. Do nothing at all. It's like my brain has too much in it so it shuts down. All this does is creates that all too familiar cycle of "things that need to be done-feeling overwhelmed-do nothing-hate and berate myself for being a loser for doing nothing". I have really had enough of this and am trying to finds ways to change.
My husband reminds me to take things in small pieces rather than keep looking at the overall task. Sometimes that task is just getting through a day. Good advice though.
Here is where I came up with my idea about "tiny victories". I don't have to clean my house,do all the projects I have on my list,change my life and be healed all at once. All I have to think about is today. One day at a time-cheesy as that is. Sometimes one hour at a time.Yesterday I didn't do much but I didn't go to bed for the day. In fact I never went back to bed at all during the day. For me,this is progress. So yesterday was a tiny victory. I have to take what I can get.
I know this is kind of rambling but if I didn't get it out now it was going to stay stuck in my head. I hope you get what I'm saying. No need to save the celebration for the finish line. Celebrate just getting in the race.
You have to start somewhere.

If the weather is cold and snowy where you are I hope you are warm and cozy. I feel a little bad for The Girl. Today is a snow day, no school, no work but she already had the day off from school as it was make up day for midterms. So she feels a little cheated. What can you do?

Hey, it's me Theo!!!

Please go check out MY BLOG!!! I am so excited!!!

trying to keep in touch

I really want to get back into the habit of regularly taking pictures and blogging so I just need to jump in and do it. What does that mean for you? Well, it means sometimes you're just gonna get whatever disorganized nonsense is running through my head and other times,a well thought out proper post. Hey, that's me...

What I am thinking about right now:

-Squam. I am returning this September and have my forms filled out, deposit check written and envelope addressed. Trying to finalize my class choices,hard because there is so much good stuff. Now to patiently wait for the 11th so I can mail it
- my feelings of inadequacy after reading other blogs. Most of the time I get inspired but sometimes I think why do I bother because I don't have "one little word" or great intentions or inspired thoughts or everything I make looks like a 5 year old did it or...you get the drift
-that I do some weird stuff. Too much to elaborate on right now
-Snooki wrote a book. I read some posted excerpts (why do I do this?) and feel part of my brain has died
-Theo is working on a blog of his own. It should be ready soon. He leads a far more exciting life than I.
-my friends. You know who you are

See you tomorrow :)

a suggestion for the new year

Jump right in with both feet!


...or at least wear your boots in case you step in "it"
May 2011 bring you all that you need